Tataaaa ...

Airtime credit has been topped up, BBQ has not been used so far, even if we did have BBQ for lunch. We used the old one for this, because the new one still stinks and has to be "ausbrend", if you understand what I mean. Well, a fire has to be lit inside it so the smell goes away.

Anyway. Ditched Luischen yesterday when asked to go to a club with her (them) to celebrate her birthday. I'm just not one of those club people, I am really sorry about that. I hate to dress up just to have to dress down again after 3 hours or so. I hate being funny and hyper-friends with everyone just so I don't have to stand around in a corner until daybreak. I hate 99% of the music they air in those types of super-cool clubs.

I guess I am far too critical to be able to go out like everyone else does:
I am too critical when it comes to myself and my own appearance - I despise how I look in most of my clothes (even those I think look great on me actually only make me not want to instantly puke at the mere sight of my reflection in the mirror). I am too critical when it comes to the people I am with - I can sense immediately whether someone is honest or not and whether they are only acting up as hyper-friends so they don't have to stand around in a corner until daybreak or not. I am too critical when it comes to music - there are many kinds of music I enjoy listening to, but those are all smart kinds and I prefer listening to them in smart environments.

Clubs seem too fake a surrounding for me to be in. I am not comfortable being fake. I have never been. I prefer being honest, even if this gets me much fewer friends than most other people have. I am aware of the fact that I am a weirdo. But I'm also proud of it.

Oh yeah, and I h-a-t-e being saved by people - being helped to be normal or whatever.
Fuck that, if you guys are being normal, I'd rather be the most abnormal person on the entire planet (not that I really was)!!!

Why?

Why did I have such a clearly defined clue about what I wanted to write here yesterday and now everything is gone again? Disappeared, despite its seeming so urgent.

Probably because of the new BBQ we bought today. I've just spent an hour trying to assemble it. That sounds like I didn't succeed, but I did. Only, it was hard work. And it cleared my brain from unnecessary thoughts.

Anyway, package's still not here - hm. My fingers smell of steal and grease. I hate everyone and everything (though especially the everyone's around me - haha). And my airtime credit is up, consequently I have to top up. Yuk.

So much for my day.

P.S.

No Packi so far! Crap.

Well, well.

Seems all prophecies come true in the end.

Only I'm too stupid to get that beforehand.

Well.

Packi-Wahn!!!

Morgen soll mein Packi aus dem UK kommen.
Und wenn nicht, dann lauf ich Amok.
Aber echt he!

Die Abgründe der menschlichen Seele ...

... schockieren mich in den letzten Tagen immer wieder.

Da diese Erlebnisse sich häufen (warum wohl???), bin ich zu dem Entschluss gekommen, dass ich hier den Knall haben muss (zusammen mit Luischen und Alomo, die Frau H. trau ich mich auch gleich dazunehmen - ohne mit ihr darüber gesprochen zu haben).

Soviel dazu.